Score: 6

"Heh, Hammer Bros."

submission: A&K Battle Rocks

date: January 10, 2007

I imagine it isn't easy to have the name "Joseph Blanchette" at Newgrounds. Ever since your earlier works, it seems no one can be pleased anymore. Everyone's expectations from your earlier works are so high up that anything remotely new or different is just upsetting(truth that Newgrounds will always be a little Indie). I think the people here are a little unmerciful in that regard.

No, this particular flash is not a histerical, side-splitting, knee-slapping film that we apparently expect from you EVERY TIME. But it's a cute, simple little narrative that does not require flashy, ultra-detailed graphics, sound effects or even dialogue. It does its job, and it does it well. And it entertained. I think it says something about this flash that it made me take the time out to write a review here for the first time in over a year.

It's nice to see an otherwise big-name flash artist take the time out to do something like this. It would be wrong of us to expect a parody blockbuster every time, and it's these little artistic diversions from which creativity spews forth at an unchallenged rate. It's a nice little portfolio piece.

~A.W.H.

Score: 7

"Took you long enough. =P"

submission: Hunter Zero Ep.3

date: February 5, 2006

I like how you give time for some dialogue between characters, even unimportant ones like the soldiers and operators. Unlike every other episode in these series', this one doesn't dwell on violence or action, giving us a much-needed chance to get adjusted to the characters involved. Although there are a couple of questions that feel unanswered.

There is no explanation as to how Bass was revived, or how he was put under Sigma's control. Also, why is no one questioning Sigma's supposedly good intentions? In fact, how did Sigma come back from the dead? Blues almost gives the impression that he's suspicious, but the flash never really explores it, or any of these questions. Of course, it does validate his suspicions through flashbacks, and in small snippets of dialogue.

Speaking of which, there has been a tremendous jump in quality in the voice acting. It's still pretty cheesy, but at least now all of the characters sound the way they -should-. Megaman actually sounds younger than his brother, Elecman and Quickman are given more interesting personalities through their voices, and this helps contrast with the rest of the cool-as-nails characters. It sounds like the actors are actually TRYING, although not always successfully hitting the mark.

Again, because this episode focuses more on dialogue and anticipation, it creates a better stage for the inevitable anime-esque battle sequences that occur. It could've used some more sound effects, and the scrolling background layers scenes felt a little choppier now than in past episodes. But it's clear you're trying to accomplish something here, and you have a certain nack for dramatic presentation and proper pacing, even if the characters aren't of your own property. It makes for a commendable fan-fiction.

~Phantos

Score: 6

""Not bad..." [6.5/10]"

submission: Gorillaz Groove Session

date: October 9, 2005

Not bad... Some good recreations of the Gorillaz art, although it's clear they're movements are just tweens. Nice quality on the music, glad to see you didn't make a horribly compressed file of Feel Good Inc. The game itself isn't bad either, but you should've made it more obvious that you're supposed to press the buttons along with the DRUM beat. It wasn't very clear on that, and I ended up having trouble on my first try.

There's not a whole lot to the game, but it's nice that you added a high score system to it.

~Phantos

Score: 6

""The gameplay mechanics need more tuning" [6.5/10]"

submission: Dad 'n Me

date: July 28, 2005

For my 300th archived review, I've decided to review Tom and Dan's latest project, Dad 'n Me. Now, I had before expressed my disconcern with the concept during it's Alpha stage. However, I go into this review without bias, as I feel it's only fair that everyone get a fair review, and I wouldn't be much of a reviewer if I didn't give everyone a fair shot. Regardless of how much I dislike the idea of what's being presented.

During the load-up, we're treated to some very nice button links to buy Alien Hominid. I already own AH myself, so it's just a pretty marketing ploy until the game loads up. At which point we're treated to more pretty logos and backgrounds and buttons. Which is nice, but that's the high point for the graphics here. As soon as the game begins, the visuals become much less flashy and detailed. They have a cartoony flair, not unlike something on Nickelodeon. I for one never thought of Synj to be all that great an artist anyway, but as an animator, which are almost 2 completely different things, Dan has always impressed me... Until now... It's not that I hate the visuals in this game, it's just that they're pretty much the same stuff we've seen time and time again. The same pseudo-square kids with the flat heads, dot eyes and lines for mouths walking around, except outfitted with afro's and t-shirts and junk to show that they represent specific members of the Newgrounds community. That's fine and all, but it's not that realy deserves a *high* score in the graphics category. Hell, most of the animation isn't as fluid as the Alien Hominid DEMO. I had this thing on low and medium, and both times, only when there's only 2 characters on screen, and when the backgrounds and foreground stop moving, will there be anything close to fluidity. Motion tweens were used a bit too much here as well. The backgrounds themselves are not horrible to look at, but Dan has made better looking games than this.

The nick-esque environments are a +1 in style, but that's as far as style goes for this game. And again, what is up with the concept to this game? "Kill Defenseless Children?" You know why Final Fight used street thugs and evil corporate business ninjas as enemies? Because there's more incentive to kill them than to kill a harmless child. Specifically that almost none of the kids in this game are even bothering you, let alone trying to harm you, while generic street thugs and ninjas are out to kill you in other sidescrollers. Self-Defense is the basis for 2-D sidescrollers, and when you lose that aspect, you lose all incentive to bring virtual harm to the characters onscreen. I know it's just supposed to be twisted and fun, but I don't even think it's either of those things. It's not all that violent, and it's not very exciting. Punching kids does get boring, and the pacing of the game is rather unbalanced.

That's not even the worst part of Dad 'n Me. I can tell you two went out of your way to make this a fun sidescroller game, and I can give you that much credit. You even tried to implement some combo system in there, but with only 2 buttons for attacks, and very little, almost randomly decided control over when and how you can combo the kids, it just seems like a broken system. In that sense, it feels like this game is not finished. Many times combos simply didn't work, and even punching sometimes failed for no clear reason, even if standing exactly perpendicular to your opponent. Was this game tested enough? I don't know, but the gameplay mechanics need more tuning.

The music fits the game nicely, and I like the sound effects too. Although the car sound effects were a bit too loud...

Don't get me wrong. I don't hate this game, per ce. I am a fan of Tom and Dan's work. I'm still playing AH to this day, and I don't regret that purchase. But this game in particular, has some pretty obvious flaws to it, that prevent it from reaching the same level of enjoyment as AH. I just think this game should've spent a little more time in development.

~Phantos

Score: 5

""I've seen worse at Newgrounds..." [4.5/10]"

submission: Framed Randomly

date: July 28, 2005

This kind of flash, with just a bunch of random frame-by-frame animations of lines turning into stuff has been done to death. The animation was skippy(being that it was only at 12 fps), and could've used more frames. The music was your run of the mill bad techno from the audio portal, but you made use of what you had to work with.

I've seen far worse at Newgrounds(particularily in the last 5 minutes), but you could put a *little* more effort into your next flash movie. I'd suggest working with an actual plot next time, and really focusing on how your movie looks and sounds. Keep at it, and you'll be a pro in no time at all.

~Phantos

Score: 8

""One of the but better sprite movies..." [7.5/10]"

submission: MK vs. SF

date: June 3, 2005

At first glance, this would appear to be "just another lame sprite movie that uses inspiration from The Matrix". But it wasn't until I actually sat through it that I saw this is high above the norm. Definitely the most fluid sprite movie ever made, you tirelessly placed as many sprites as possible for the 4 fighters. And it's not all sprites either, as we're treated to some VERY professionally-designed text-boxes and menu screens.

The music was a treat for the ears too... It's just too bad you DIDN'T LIST THE SONGS USED! Keepin' all those mp3's to yourself, eh? :P

The low point of the film is the "plot". Not only does it start off at a point which is clearly not the beginning, we aren't really given a whole lot on what happened before(aside from that one text box at the beginning). And the characters, like all sprite movies, fight for NO REASON... Well, Ken explains why he fights at the end, but it's not something you wouldn't find in any dumb action movie.

Back to graphics, the sprites can be from a really good looking game(like Street Fighter Alpha or Megaman X), but they're only as good as they are used. The choreography in this flash is some of the best I've seen in any flash movie thus far. I specifically like the scene where Ken and Raiden find millions of ways to evade their own attacks. It's not only VERY tense, and magnificently pulled off, but it's such a refreshing change from most sprite movies. Very good move on your part.

So, long story short, what you lack in story, you distract with clean, fluid sprite animations and an impressive collection of unidentified music. One of the shorter, but better sprite movies ever made. I hope to see more projects from you in the future.

~Phantos

Score: 7

""An Enjoyable, if cliched film." [6.5/10]"

submission: Mask

date: June 2, 2005

This film is interesting... It appears as though you wanted to make an artistic film, but it tended to borrow the more memorable "artistic" aspects that have ingrained themselves into our culture. It comes off as uncreative, which conflicts with the creativity you wanted to portray.

First of all, using the most overplayed medieval song of all time remixed with electric guitars is a rather uncreative move. Why not search for less mainstream but no-less powerful songs with the ancient celtic feel to them? Green Sleeves(the song featured) is to music what Dracula is to horror movies. When it first appeared, it moved people and awoke powerful emotions in us, but after so much time and after so much parody, it's no longer credible. It's almost goofy to hear it now, which conflicts with the mood of your plot.

Also, the whole "swordfighting your inner demons" twist has been done to death as well. As is the "Oh, it was only a dream" twist. Inspiration is ok, but only when one doesn't go overboard with it. This only works when it is a parody, like I mentioned before. This is clearly not meant to be a funny movie, so the entire collection of cliched "artistic" touches just feels tired.

But it's not like you aren't trying. You've CLEARLY got talent, and you know what you want to do. You not only know how to draw correctly, but your animation skills are very developed as well. Although I could spot a couple of scenes where you just moved a still picture around to show some sort of anxious movement, you admitted that you didn't have all the time in the world to work on this, so a flaw or two is forgiveable.

Again, your only real "issues" are with the expression of the film. It conveys sequences, stories and events everyone and their mother has seen used mercilessly. Instead of looking at the more popular or famous examples of dramatic techniques, I would suggest looking towards more independant films. The kind that don't follow all the guidelines of what a film should be. Rules were meant to be bent, eh?

Anywho, I can't say it was a bad movie, or even a mediocre film. But you gotta set aside some time to really flesh out something original and unique for yourself. If you can find a way to colour and/or shade in future movies, that will help too.

An Enjoyable, if cliched film. Keep up the good work.

~Phantos

Score: 9

""...a wonderful and imaginative flash..." [9.0/10]"

submission: Nim's Winter tale

date: May 7, 2005

I'm usually reluctant to check out a lot of flash movies presented on the front page(as of late, the ratio of good-to-bad films has peeked into the latter category), but I'm glad I took the risk this time. Nim's Winter Tale is a wonderful and imaginative flash movie.

Too often I see flash movies here that absolutely HAVE to have something happening(or exploding) in almost every frame. The better films tend to take things slower, but never to the lengths you've gone to to provide dramatic pacing. I LOVE how it takes it's time to invite the viewer into the little world you've presented. And I think it's even better that you don't feel it necessary to have all of the whimsical, mythical characters you've introduced in pointless conflict with eachother. More cool points.

And this sleepy, dream-like story has some terrific visuals and an even greater soundtrack to back it up. Hearing that aural, almost medieval sound makes the entire experience all the more terrific.

What else can I say? This is just an exquisite flash movie.

~Phantos

Score: 2

""One of the grittier flashes I've seen.." [2.0/10]"

submission: T.S.O.B.: The Noir Shots

date: April 28, 2005

I've known Vali-Ent through MSN for some time now, and he's a decent, if perplexing individual, from what I gather. He's not a bad person, and I know he's trying, but he hasn't quite gotten the hang of film-making quite yet...

Visually, this is one of the grittier flashes I've seen at Newgrounds, and I don't mean in terms of style. The muddy, pixelly video file transfer does not hold up well, and it's hard to tell exactly what it was I was looking at for the duration of this flash.

The acting resulted in a few laughes (and a lot of cringes) from this reviewer. Specifically the voice narration, which is meant to portray a hardened street-tough guy, but comes off as a nasally computer nerd, almost like Ohmadon's Black Mage at times. Hammy and underdeveloped, it just screams amateur. But, considering this was made by amateur filmmakers, I guess you get what you pay for.

Then we're given the most bare-bones noir-plot concievable. We don't know who any of the characters are, or why they do what they do, or what leads them to do the things they do. The whole thing feels like it's missing large chunks of storyline, and reason for that matter.

I really can't recommend anyone to see this. Which is a shame, because I know the guy is trying to make something worthwhile, but it lacks some key fundamentals which keep it from reaching the level of adequacy.

~Phantos

Score: 6

""Technological issues scar presentation." [6.5/10]"

submission: Blackman Dead

date: March 23, 2005

This had a lot going for it. A compelling and profound poem brought to life with impressive visuals and style, but there is one thing that keeps it from attaining the greatness it deserves. The sound. While you used all the right sounds necessary to create the mood, and while the voice actor doesn't have a horrible voice, whatever he used to record his lines must have been a very shoddy microphone. NO VOLUME CONTROL in this film as well, and because of the lackluster technology, the speech and the sound effects come off FAR too loud and distorted. The music was quiet and subtle, but surrounded by sound effects and speech which don't just overshadow it, but nearly obliterate it. If it was intentional, then I can understand what you were trying to go for, but it didn't sound professional. Quite the contrary. The speech and sound effects were elegantly used, but had the same quality as those horrible flash movies where they guy screams too close to the microphone and you get that ear-drum bursting sound, not unlike an orangutan mating with an acchordion. Which is a huge shame, because this is a movie in which the sound makes or breaks it entirely.

Sure, we have gorgeous visuals that never get too pompously overused or emphasized, and don't have to use too many tricks to get the point across, but graphics are only half, maybe even only 1/3rd of a movie. You chose to present the message of this film through speech, but the recording software you used just worked against you. We have to listen to a great poem, from a man with a decent, fitting voice, through horrible recording technology. It's like, haveing 15/20 vision, needing glasses, and misplacing or accidentally stepping on them right before going to see the Mona Lisa.

Regardless of the sound problems, at least you TRIED. It's not like you put 30 seconds of effort into deciding/performing the vocal portion of this movie. It's clear a great amount of effort and heart went into this, and I can't overemphasise how well you get the message and the meaning across through this flash. It's just the technological issues which scar it's otherwise perfect presentation. :(

~Phantos

PS: Have you ever read the poem "Strange Fruit"? It's one of the more memorable poems based on the persecution of African-Americans. So memorable, Billy Holiday performed the song version as I recall. It too is a pretty gripping touch on the horrible things these people had to suffer through, just because they were different. :(